I, Charlie, have called upon the supernatural forces of the world and transcribed tablets written in cuneiform to present you the commandments of Fantasy Football.
Every Good Running Back You Draft is One Year Opponent Won’t Have.
Quarterbacks Grow on Trees and Smell like Jack Fruit.
Only Nostradamus Could Predict Wide Receivers. And He Sucked at It.
Kickers are a Cursed Breed Undeserving of Their Importance.
I Shalt Only Turn Into Jerry Jones after I Can Afford to Build my Own Football Chapel.
If Your Last Two Draft Picks were not Kicker or Defense/Special Teams You Have Sinned.